Crossover
by Tsuriai Yuuto
Summary: [originally from X fandom] YnM/ X. Sakaruzakamori Subaru/ Tsuzuki/ Hisoka. Complete fanfic crossing YnM w/ X/1999. The Shinigami investigate magical imbalances in Tokyo. Drama, and a tough of angst. I added a YnM epilogue
1. Default Chapter

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Disclaimer:I don't think that either the creator of Yami meant for her characters to be used in other universes, nor did those of X/1999 but then, maybe they did. In any case, all characters that I use from both animes are belonging to their respective anime organizations.

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Author's Note: Yes, I did say I was mixing YnM and X. Eat your hearts out, fangirls.

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Author's 2nd note:In my own writing style, I'm going to write a prologue to see if there's any interest in this type of novel before continuing. If you want this fanfic to continue, please review to tell me whether I should go on or not. It'll involve Sakaruzakamori Subaru and the Shinigami, but beyond that I don't know. Enjoi. Yes, I am aware of certain time issues; let's just pretend that the plot works, ok? *begs*

*****

"*Ughhh* How many times are you going to be late because of your desserts, Tsuzuki?"

*sweatdrop* "_Gomenasai_ Tatsumi-san, Chief Kanoe, I can't function without them."

"Uh-huh. Maybe I should just eat them in front of you and see how well you operate." Kurosaki Hisoka lifted his chopsticks nimbly, angling for the precious piece of the caramel cream Cinnabon.

The purple eyes creased in hatred and horror. "You wouldn't."

"Ehhh, why wouldn't I? You borrowed money from me so you could buy it."

-.-;; "Fine."

"Ahhhh, gomen Tsuzuki-kun. I'm sure we'll all enjoy this one." *grin*

"Shut up, Tatsumi-san." Everyone except for Tsuzuki laughed, and Hisoka's chopsticks dove into the gooey mass, pull out the pecans and pulled them toward the blonde-haired boy. Tsuzuki's face drooped as he watched his precious dessert be slowly consumed by the rest of the Shinigamis 

*sigh* "Why was I summoned today?"

"Ahh, yes, down to business." Watari flitted over to the light switch, poked a few buttons, and the slide projector whirred as the overhead lights dimmed. "Yes, this is the beautiful Tokyo skyline, where there have been remarkable disturbances in the magical grid."

"Watari, your hair is blocking the slide projector."

"_Gomenasai, _Tatsumi-san."

Tsuzuki tore his eyes away from the empty Cinnabon container. "Tokyo? Magical grid? That hasn't been disturbed since the Sumeragi clan took control thirteen generations ago. That's even before my time. ^_^" He chuckled at his own joke, then sobered when Hisoka glared softly at him.

"_Sou desu ne_. I don't know if you know this, but recently the Battle of the Apocalypse took place."

Hisoka dropped his chosticks. "Eh? You mean like in the prophecies?"

Tsuzuki grinned again. "Well, we're still here, so I guess that means the Ten no Ryuu won. I was wondering why the sweets had gotten so much better" Hisoka smacked him, hard. "*chibi-face* Owww"

Watari brushed a lock of his hair out of his face, then continued. "Because of the immense spiritual instabilities surrounding Tokyo after the destruction of many of the Tokyo's _Kekkai_, we haven't been able to get anyone into the city. Now that some time has passed, the _Kekkai_'s have stabilized enough to let us in, so we're sending the two of you to investigate why exactly the magic in Tokyo is shifting."

Tsuzuki's amethyst eyes had shifted into a thoughtful stare, and his lips were turned downwards into a frown. "Ennnhhh The Promised Day comes, we can't enter Tokyo for a few months because of the _Kekkai_ and now the magical grid is imbalanced? Don't suppose that's a coincidence" 

Tatsumi shook his head. "It is probably quite likely that the two events are connected. It was rumored, though never confirmed, that the 13th head of the onmyoujitsu, Sumeragi Subaru, was a Seal."

Hisoka's jaw dropped. "A Seal? The onmyouji? Wow His powers must be" his voice trailed off. Tsuzuki looked at his partner quizzically, but the youth was lost in thought.

The Chief spoke, his voice raspy in the dim light. "I know that Tokyo isn't your normal area of operations, but unfortunately we can't risk sending in someone who can't take care of himself. Only you, Tsuzuki, and Hisoka are potent enough to be able to deal with whatever comes as a result of the magic. Dismissed." Watari flipped on the lights again, and Hisoka stirred in his chair. He got up, walked towards the door with one hand in his jeans pocket.

Tsuzuki loosened his rumpled tie some more, got up and turned to leave. " *sweatdrop* I almost forgot!! What's our spending cap? *chibi-face begs*" 

"Ahhh, Tsuzuki-kun, do you ever think of anything else? ^^;;" Tatsumi looked amused. "Since it is the capital" Tsuzuki's face rose; he began to float a little off of the ground. " and since you and Hisoka were specifically chosen for this one" The purple eyes grew hungry. "Use your best judgment for food cost" Tsuzuki sparkled and grabbed Tatsumi's hand.

"_Arigatou, arigatou, arigatou!!!!" _*squeeee* 

"I was talking to Hisoka, Tsuzuki. It's time we started giving him more responsibilities."

*falls over* "Aieee *sigh* Ok. We're off then." Tsuzuki couldn't conceal his disappointment. At least they were going to the capital. ^_^.The two shinigami faded from the office, and shifted into the corporeal world. 

*****

**__**

Tokyo Station: 11:37 A.M.

Sumeragi Subaru stepped off of the train lightly, the white coat billowing out around him and a pair of dark sunglasses hiding his mismatched eyes. He took a sniff of the city air, decided that it was much better in Tokyo that out in the countryside. To him, there was a refreshing anonymity to the masses of people that surrounded him. Little did they know of the brush with power that they had seen, the locus of energies that they had only heard of in their dreams. Out in the countryside, where he conducted himself as the 13th head of the Sumeragi clan, there was isolation, yes, but also loneliness. He preferred to be around people rather than isolated, something he would never have dreamed of two months ago.

Two months ago. Does it even require explaining? Sakurazuka Seishirou, the only person outside of his family that he had ever loved, committed suicide through the bastardization of Subaru's own wish. It was cruel and loving and everything that Subaru had ever wanted but never admitted to himself. It wasn't enough that Seishirou could tell Subaru those three words.

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Kamui. As a person dies, is what they say actually the truth? Even now, I don't know, because I can't ask anymore. 

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You had to die, Seishirou, I understand that now. I didn't kill you, but you died by my hand. And with the death of your body, came the life of my spirit. The blossom star, the mark of your hate, of your love, of your devotion, of my blind attachment to that thing you called "the bet" but what I saw as love, still remains. No, Sei-chan, I didn't kill you. You chose that moment to leave, to leave me. 

I buried you in Ueno park, underneath the Sakura. I guess that means I'm special, that I knew where the tree was. I can feel the change in me, the knowledge that I am someone different. Kamui thought that I was blindly following your lead, seeking only to fulfill my destiny in your path, dissolving in a blur of sakura_ with nothing but the flip of an ofuda to mark my passing. But now Kamui is dead and I am here._

But I am not you, Sei-chan. I am the Sakaruzakamori, yes, but I am also the Sumeragi. Something that not even you could have anticipated.

Subaru reached into his pocket and pulled out a cigarette. He wasn't looking forward, as was his wont, and he held out the cigarette in front of him, as he always did, expecting someone to light it for him. As always, no one did, and he lit it himself. Looking at his blurred reflected in the glass window of a building, he almost imagined that he was Seishirou. But no the head returned to the fetal position and he walked on, anonymous and isolated.

*****


	2. Spiral doubts

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**__**

Tokyo Center: 3:00 P.M. the following day

"Aiee XD thank you so much for the shrimp fried rice, Soka-chan! I love the Capital. So much good food." Tsuzuki expertly whittled away at the pile of food in front of him. Hisoka could only watch in amazement. This was the third time today. The youth sighed; the Chief was going to have a fit when they received the food bill. "So, Hisoka. Where do we start looking for the solution to these problems?" 

"Well, I still think our best bet is to find the Sumeragi. The most powerful magics in Tokyo are controlled by his clan. None of the other onmyoujitsus come close." Hisoka reached for the iced tea sitting by his wrist. Tsuzuki laughed. 

"You think that the Sumeragis aren't matched anywhere?" His normally bright eyes took on a feral gleam. "Well, maybe this is a bit before your time, but there's another clan, much more secretive. The Blossom Star Estate, the Sakaruzakamori. Nobody really knows who exactly is in the Blossom Star, but everyone important knows it exists."

"What exactly do they do?"

"They're assassins. Political assassins mostly, on contract, but sometimes they kill for fun too."

"Oh, can I hire them to kill Muraki-san?"

*sweatdrop* "No, I want to bring him down. But being assassins is only their superficial function. They have a far more important role in our context, in the use of magic." Tsuzuki had grown serious; not the depressed nostalgia of his past or the façade of soberness that he wore for Hisoka when he was hungry but pretending not to be, but genuinely concerned for the matter at hand. The crystalline eyes focused on a nonexistent point, the keen intellect that was hidden behind the careless personality was coming out.

"The Sumeragi clan has had the most influence in the high Tokyo circles for some generations now; and it was assumed that the Sakurazukas were _rivals_ for their power; the light versus the dark. But there is something that only a few people know, maybe not even the Sumeragis themselves. The Blossom Star Estate was meant to act as a counter, a balance if you will, to the energies contained. It was rumored that before the Battle of the Apocalypse, that the Sumeragi and the Sakaruzakamori would be evenly matched for the first time, but that hasn't been confirmed." Tsuzuki finished his rice and got up. 

"Uhhh Tsuzuki-san?" Hisoka followed his lead out of the vendor's parasol. "If the Sakaruzakamori is so secretive and dangerous, why are we looking for him?" 

"I never said we were looking for him. But now that you mention it, it's probably a good idea that we do." Hisoka looked up at the taller Shinigami. Something was bothering him, he he never acted this way. Reaching out with his powers as an empath, he reached into Tsuzuki's ether to taste his emotions.

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Sakura swirled around a foggy darkness. Hisoka caught his breath involuntarily. _Ahead, he could dimly see a body, lying prostrate on its side unnaturally. There was a gaping maw in the body's back, blood oozing out like Jell-O in a straw_. Hisoka had to shake his head; Tsuzuki never stopped thinking about sweets. _The panting breath as the emotion ran towards the body; rolled it over, and the flaccid face was drained of life. The ground shook, and the image blurred over and the world turned on its head. Roots a tree a _sakura_ tree bent over the body_. 

Hisoka coughed into his hand and staggered out. Going into Tsuzuki's mind was always a dangerous proposition. He knew something about the Sakaruzakamori that he wasn't telling. His partner looked back, the concerned look hiding the emotion roiling beneath. The piercing eyes glared at Hisoka, the softened. "Do you know where we are?"

Hisoka's cheeks burned; Tsuzuki knew that the boy had entered his mind and was mildly upset. He started to apologize, then saw that the older Shinigami didn't want to talk about it. "No."

"Ueno Park. The Sakaruzakas hold this place sacred; no other onmyouji dares to tread here. We're in danger right now, but not much so. So long as we keep our identities secret, we'll be safe. Let's stake this place out."

"Hai."

In spite of Tsuzuki's words, Soka-chan was perturbed. There had been another image, another connection, another _feeling_ that had come with Tsuzuki's.

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The pale skin stood against the shock of black hair like it didn't belong on the same head. The eyes were closed, but then opened. One eye, a deeper emerald than his own, stared back with a bland emotion that was only surpassed by the empty stare of the other eye; blind, gray, lifeless. The figure's brow creased, a red pentagram flashed into existence so suddenly that Hisoka fell back, stunned, and the figure dissolved into a flurry of sakura_._

*****

**__**

Subaru's Apartment: 9:18 PM later that day

He sat there sitting on the edge of the bed in a nameless apartment in a nameless part of the city. It was where he stayed when he wasn't at home. His coat was lying on a coat rack in the corner, the black shirt neatly folded next to him. And so he sat there, watching the ash fall slowly from his unsmoked cigarette. It was so common these days, to just sit there catatonic and motionless. He didn't even think, or feel, or react. Something had been taken away from him when Kamui had given himself to the world; the only other person he imagined being remotely close to since Sei-san died. Maybe this is what it was like to be the Sakaruzakamori. Maybe this is what it was like to be alone. But it wasn't just that

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Please remember, there are still ones to protect! Subaru!

Hokuto's voice cried out again, surging forth from memories long buried. There wasn't anyone else to protect. His final friend, his last love had passed away, and though he could still feel _the Kamui_ in his heart, Kamui was no longer with him For a few seconds, the shell cracked and a single tear fell from the colorless eye onto the floor. 

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If you thought about it, you would never have the guts to kill anyone. Because you are very kind.

His eyes shot open and he shook his head violently. _No!_ He was the Sakaruzakamori, immune to such emotions.

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Ahh, you're so cute, Subaru-kun. "Stop it!" he snarled to no one in particular and held his head in his hands. He felt another pressure in his head, of a different kind. A single _sakura_ petal floated from the ceiling unbidden, and he realized that he had certain obligations to meet, regardless of personal troubles. The Sakura was hungry

He grabbed his coat, shut out his personal demons and started his slow walk towards Ueno Park.

*****

**__**

Ueno Park, 10:12 P.M.

Tsuzuki was napping on a park bench, sprawled over a few square meters with a content look on his face. Hisoka was standing in a hostile position against a nearby shade tree, keeping watch for anything suspicious. There weren't that many people in the park, not this late on a weekday. He stretched out with his emotions, trying to brush nearby auras to get a sense of their purpose. He expanded his awareness, and encountered a seething barrier powerful emotions kept painfully intact. The presence of the spirit was powerful, but he couldn't quite place the location. It was relatively nearby though.

"Tsuzuki, wake up." He prodded the prostrate figure with his toe. Tsuzuki mumbled something incoherent and didn't move. Hisoka's small amount of patience wore out; he grabbed the nearest container of liquid and dumped it on his head. Tsuzuki sputtered and sprang to his feet, screaming something incoherent.

"Quiet, I think someone is coming." Tsuzuki shut up fast, and began scanning the area for anything suspicious.

*****


	3. Breaking Point

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Subaru paced slowly down one of the paved walkways that laced Ueno Park. The _sakura_ trees, not blooming at this time of the year, waved softly in the wind. There was one tree that was flowering; no one knew quite why. He spotted a jogger resting on a bench and quickened his pace without picking up his head. Black non-light swirled around his hands and the _maboroshi_ flashed into existence. He didn't have the will to toy with his victim tonight; a flick of his wrist, a splatter of blood, an ancient incantation, and the Sakura was satisfied.

*****

Hisoka fell to his knees, one hand clutching his head, the other his heart. A painful groan leapt unbidden from his lips, and Tsuzuki knelt nearby his stricken friend. Hisoka swore passionately and got up. "Over there!" He pointed through a thicket of trees and got up. Tsuzuki tried to help him up, but Hisoka threw off Tsuzuki's arms. "I'm fine. Let's go!" He dashed into the suffocating night.

Tsuzuki, after a heartbeat of wonder, followed his friend.

*****

Subaru paced slowly down one of the paved walkways that laced Ueno Park. His right hand was in his pocket, so as not to disturb anyone with the bloodstains. As always, dark sunglasses covered up his inert eye. Reaching up with his left hand, he fished a cigarette from his pocket. Without looking up, he held it out in front of him. _Snick-fwoosh_. The cigarette was lit, but not by him. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see a pair of figures standing in front of him, their outlines clear but their features obscured by the darkness. "_Arigatou_" he said softly, and walked on. 

"_Konbanwa_, it's a nice evening, isn't it?" A _genki _voice, roughly the same age as his own. Subaru continued walking.

Tsuzuki suppressed a sigh. Why did the cute ones always have to be so quiet? He glanced over at Hisoka before scrutinizing the back of the white-clad stranger. He tried again. "Why are you wearing sunglasses right now? It's after dark Ueno Park is one of the few places where Tokyo isn't as bright as day during the night. Can you see?" He trotted up gaily and matched the speed of the other character. Hisoka followed in his steps, not saying anything. The smaller boy didn't risk using his empathetic powers; at this close proximity any intrusion might be noticed.

"I'm quite alright, just out for an evening walk. Sometimes it's good to wear sunglasses at night. When you can't see, your mind is free to roam." Subaru didn't feel like talking, but understood that he had to appease this newcomer with at least half an answer, or would risk a longer conversation. _Kusooo leave me alone! _

The taller figure continued on talking. "Oh, I completely agree. I'm glad that you can appreciate the darkness and the silence. Isn't that great, eh, *pause* Hisoka-kun?"

"Aa." A bland acknowledgement from the smaller one; clearly younger than the other. 

"Do you know Nekoi Yuzuriha, by any chance?" Subaru tried hard to keep the sarcasm out of his voice, but the comparison just _had_ to be made.

*sweatdrop* "No why?" 

"No reason."

*sweatdrops again* "Well, umm. Sir, we were wondering if you could help us find someone." Did that _genki_ attitude ever stop? It was late, didn't he have school tomorrow or something?

"Soka. Who might this person be?" Anything to get them away. Human contact was threatening. Subaru didn't want to talk, he didn't want to reveal anything to anyone; his shell of indifference was created out of painstaking isolation.

"Well." The tone of that word caught Subaru's ears the pair was more than what they seemed. "We were looking for the Sakurazukamori. Do you know where we might find him?" Subaru walked for three more steps. _One. Two. Three_. Then stopped for a moment. Dropped his cigarette to the ground, stepped on it lightly with the toe of his left boot. He pivoted to the right on one foot slowly, and pulled his sanguine right hand out of his pocket. Closing his eyes, he took off his sunglasses and gazed placidly at the two boys with the full force of his blind eye. _You're so cute, Subaru-kun_. He smiled in mockery and amusement, something that Seishirou had done often enough.

Tsuzuki staggered back a few steps in spite of his resolve. What was it with all of the bad guys?!?!?! Did they ALL have one eye missing or cursed or somehow made unnatural?!?!? The blood on his hand, though dark, was unmistakable. The Sakurazukamori was young, much younger than Tsuzuki thought he would be, but the chilling smile fit perfectly. The man's _shikifuku_ stirred slightly as he altered his standing position. "Well, well, I wonder what will come of this, now." His voice was cool and modulated. At least it didn't have the seductive undertones of Muraki in it "Suppose I was the Sakurazukamori. Wouldn't it be dangerous for you to approach me?"

Hisoka couldn't help but be afraid the young man's voice and face and stance didn't speak of any peril, but there was an unmistakable aura of sheer power around him. Getting no response from the Shinigami, the Sakurazukamori put his sunglasses away. "If you're policemen, I'm afraid that I seem to have killed someone this night. Now I'll have to wash my coat again" Hisoka tensed, and watched Tsuzuki slip his hand into his pocket for an _ofuda_. "Oh? What's that? I'm sure you don't want to try any of that." The blind eye seemed to flare to life. Raising his clean hand, the Sakurazukamori pointed to the sky, and _sakura_ petals began to fall gently. Hisoka edged closer to Tsuzuki, and then darkness fell all around them. Pure blackness then strangely the two of them were illuminated, as if in a spotlight, but he couldn't find the light source A large _sakura_ tree shimmered into existence a short distance away, and then the Sakurazukamori walked out from behind the tree.

"We mean no offense, Sakurazukamori-san, we just wanted to ask you some questions." Tsuzuki was practically abasing himself before the dark onmyouji, Hisoka noticed, not wanting to arouse the ire of the man. 

"Oh really? I might be nice enough tonight to spare your lives if the question is interesting."

"Ah, well, um, *cough*." Tsuzuki cleared his throat, and stopped faking his frightened state. "There recently was an occurrence here in Tokyo. One which interests my partner and I."

"Oh?" He couldn't have sounded less interested.

"Yes something having to do with the end of the world." Finally, a reaction. His eyes glazed over for a few seconds, the smirk disappeared, and that beautiful face hardened into a frown.

"_Soka_."

"Yes, well um would you happen to know anything about it?"

"I would, yes. But I don't feel like talking about it." His hand went to his right pocket, and Hisoka nudged Tsuzuki softly, indicating that something was about to happen.

"Well, we were trying to get into contact with the Sumeragi, who was involved, and figured that maybe the Sakurazukamori would be of some help" Tsuzuki trailed off as the Sakurazukamori's face twisted in anger. 

"I said I don't feel like talking about it!" The Sakurazukamori leapt into the air, and a red pentagram flashed before him. Scarlet energy beams creased the _maboroshi_ and Tsuzuki and Hisoka dove away. "Why didn't you leave me alone?" he shouted, but the Shinigami didn't respond. Tsuzuki whipped an _ofuda_ out of his pocket, and the Sakurazukamori clasped his hands together and pointed his finger at Tsuzuki like a gun. The air distorted as the dark energies tore through it, and impacted on the protection aura that Tsuzuki had summoned. 

The _ofuda_ shattered after a brief struggle, and Tsuzuki was thrown backwards, clothes smoking. Hisoka got up from the ground and saw the white-clad assassin land nimbly on the ground nearby. But somehow he couldn't move

Tsuzuki recovered quickly, stunned at the power of his attacker. Leaping to one side, he called up his summoning powers. "I pray to the twelve gods who protect me"

Subaru saw the man chanting softly to himself, felt the orange waves of power rippling out of his body. So, a _Shikigami_. He waved his hand and began casting a counterspell. "_On asanmagini unhatta On asanmagini unhatta On asanmagini unhatta"_

" show yourself before me" Flames arced around Tsuzuki

"_Onbazalatoshikoku!!!_" Subaru finished the spell, closed his fist, and a cylinder of energy sprung from the ground around the summoner. His purple eyes widened in surprise as he found that his spell couldn't be finished, and the flames died down. Subaru kept channeling his spell, draining the other's energy

Hisoka sprinted towards the onmyoujitsu and tackled him. The assassin was surprisingly light, and his concentration wavered. Hisoka felt Tsuzuki's power begin to return, and then the Sakurazukamori twisted out of Hisoka's grip faster than thought. 

Time slowed. 

There was a flip of the white coat, a silent twist of his body, and then the assassin buried his hand into Hisoka's chest, right beneath the shoulder. Hisoka screamed and fell forward, watched his blood spatter like water against the white coat, and collapsed into unsympathetic arms. In this moment of pain, there was also a moment of clarity. He reached out with his powers and immersed himself in the spirit of the Sakurazukamori.

__

Another man is walking down the road, his back turned. Strange, he looks almost exactly like the Sakurazukamori Subaru finally, a name. He turns around slowly and takes off his sunglasses, and his blind right eye burns into me. "Seishirou." I falls to my knees, stricken by the memory, the internal torture threatening the break through that hard shell that he faces the world with. Hisoka slowly droops his head, the pain overwhelming him. _I reach out towards the receding figure, and when that image fades, I fall to my knees, unable to bear the loneliness, the guilt, and so I fall unconscious I buried him underneath the _Sakura_ I killed him, I became him I am him_

Time speeded up.

Subaru looked down at the youth, whose bright green eyes were brimming with tears. He wanted to comfort the boy, tell him _Yes, I know what you're feeling_, but nothing came forward with luck the boy would live. Subaru didn't have the will to kill the boy, not tonight. He pulled his hand out with a sickening sound, and a stream of blood gushed from the wound. The boy let out a groan and collapsed to the ground. 

"I pray to the twelve gods that protect me, show yourself! Come, Suzaku! Suzaku is the phoenix, the firebird of death and rebirth." A bright light bathed the _maboroshi_ and the phoenix simmered with a flame that mirrored the eyes of his summoner. _A Shikigami of that strength! But that's impossible, unless they are Shinigami no, impossible!_

Tsuzuki was about to attack when the assassin stood up from the stricken Hisoka, pointed his finger to the sky, and dissolved into a cloud of _sakura_, which began to fall from the sky. "Soka-chan," he whispered, and the phoenix died along with the mirage. He ran to help his friend, picked him up, caressed him, and carried him the long miles back to the hotel. 

*****


	4. Subarukun

*****

**__**

Subaru's Apartment, 2:57 the next morning, Subaru's POV

I could have used my powers, jumped, teleported, somehow gotten home faster than I did but I walked. I don't know why, really, I usually don't like _walking_, especially when I'm in a mood like this. At least it was dark out, so I didn't have to look at myself in the store windows, a twisted shadow of what I choose to show. Appearances are so temporary to me. I can change, alter, absorb, do anything I want to myself that I wish to. I can appear to anyone who I want them to see me as because all people are looking for is a wave of the hand, a half-hearted grin, a simple acknowledgment of their existence to make them think that they matter in this world. People do not see what they do not expect; that is how I live, it is how I stay sane. 

I've changed these past two months, but I don't know how. I don't have the answers to any of my questions I'm the Sakurazukamori but I don't know what that means or what that entails or, or

When I unlocked the door to my apartment, I thought someone was watching me, but I didn't care. I walked into the room, took off the jacket, sat on the bed.

And cried. And then slept.

*****

__

"Ahhh, Subaru-kun, you look so cute when you're upset." I didn't look up, I'd heard the voice a thousand times, the supporting tone sheathing a veiled superiority. "Tell me what's bothering you." His hand touched my face, and I turned away from him, feeling his warm hand torch my cold face. I hadn't even thought about him these past few weeks, so caught up the decay of my own lifestyle, the careful procedure that I follow so I don't drive myself insane. 

How can the one who feels nothing be warm and the one who feels everything be cold? "You're dead," I manage to say, still afraid to look him in the face. It still hurt too much, to look in your eyes, afraid of what I might find out.

"Yes, and no. You should know that I'm still bound to the Sakura_. Subaru-kun, why do you try so hard?" _Heh, the Sakurazukamori is asking me about how I feel.

"Try so hard to do what? I'm the Sakurazukamori now, I don't try." He laughs softly, a knowing laugh, as if he knows me better than I know myself.

"Subaru-kun, why do you try to be me?" The question was serious, spoken out of character. I still don't look up at him thinking about what the question means. He was right, of course, as only a fragment of my own self could be All the changes in the past month were an effort to become what I had killed, as if that's what he wanted me to be.

"I never said anything like that, Subaru-kun." I grab my hair and scream; does he always have to say my name like that?! It makes me It makes me feel like he actually cares for me. And every time I believe that he does, every time that some person reaches out to me to touch that part of my being that needs to be wanted, every time that I look for him to be there, he's turned away from me. Except for one time, when I wasn't even expecting it, when I was determined to move on

__

Doushite? You never said those words to me, even when I need you to say them most

"Subaru, did it ever occur to you that I might have meant what I said?" I felt your fingers grace my cheek again, so softly I could have cried again. My blind eye betrayed me, and two tears fell. One for me, one for you. It hadn't, of course I wanted to believe but every time I believed in something, it was taken away from me. I thought I had found something in Kamui, in dark Kamui, in being the Sakurazukamori, but all I ever felt was emptiness. 

"_You never really did understand what it meant to be the Sakurazukamori, Subaru-kun. You never had the lack of heart to be him. Subaru, you need to learn how to live for yourself._" My head came up, I looked forward. The spot on my hand where you marked burned suddenly, as if remembering what it was like to live my life as someone else's toy. The gentle touch, the half-smile that tortured me every day, the lifeless phrases you threw at me to make me feel better. I wanted to make you want me, to make you feel _anything_, anything at all, and when I finally did, you were gone.

"_I'm not gone, Subaru-kun. Oh no, not while my toy is still alive._" I'm not your damn toy! I slam my hands against my knees, fighting the tears, squeezing my eyes shut in frustration and pain and sorrow and sheer grief.

"Dammit, Seishirou-san!" I look up at him, finally. You were leaning against the Sakura benignly, the ever-present grin lighting your face, but the eyes the eyes. You looked real, for the first time since I've known you. A flash of red catches my eye, and I shudder to think that your hand is covered in someone else's blood, but no The stain starts in the middle of your shirt, and spreads slowly outwards, staining that precious coat of yours. _What?_ I look down, and it's not your hand that is stained, but my own. Shuddering, the tears come again and I weep uncontrollably, without any shred of self-consciousness that restricted me before, turned me into the lifeless shell that Seishirou ignored and Kamui loved, both gone, and I fall off of the bench in my dream

__

"Subaru-kun" He said my name again, and instead of the light touch I feel his embrace, and I lose control and crumble into his arms _"Aisheteru, Subaru-kun._"

"Seishirou-san I'm so sorry" And I dissolve into tears for a final time.

*****

Why did I lose control? I don't know he is, after all, dead. But as I stand here now, outside of my apartment, next to the Sakura, I feel that somehow I understand him now. There is no sign that I was crying, only the unfeeling shell that I have put up for myself. I may return to see him, once in awhile, but for now

I

_Ore wa_

I believe in myself.

*****

****

Author's Note:Oh no, I just totally ruined Subaru's character, neh? [/sarcasm] It's not OOC if you think about it; this fic is as much about developing established characters beyond their original bounds as it is about limited fanservice. It's been two months since Sei-san died, Subaru has to get over him sometime

*ducks flying objects that obstinate fangirls toss at him*

Hope that I haven't totally ruined your image of Subaru-kun I put a lot of effort into making this a developmental instead of an AU fanfic.


	5. Past and Present

*****

**__**

The Shinigami's hotel, 10:05 that morning

Tsuzuki sat in a chair next to Soka-chan's bed, watching the boy sleep. The assassin's blow had uncharacteristically missed the heart by a good four inches so he would recover very shortly. He held the youth's hand gently, fear and anger and uncertainty clawing at his fine features. The normally lively eyes were dark and brooding, his forehead furrowed into a deep frown, and Tsuzuki touched Hisoka's hand to his forehead, hoping to give the boy the strength to wake up but actually being reassured by its presence. He couldn't understand how the Sakurazukamori could be so powerful his _ofuda_ was wound with anti-dark spells Sure, the _shiki_ had scared him away, but now that Hisoka was temporarily hurt, potentially killed it was _personal_. 

"You don't have to get revenge for me, Tsuzuki." The weak voice from the head of the bed jolted Tsuzuki back to the present. Bright green eyes stared at him from under half-slits. 

Tsuzuki kissed Hisoka's hand. His throat caught "Hisoka-chan, you're awake! That's excellen!" He felt his good spirits returning. "How do you feel?"

"Like somebody stuck their hand through me."

"Hahaha! You're so funny, Soka-chan. *twitch*" Tsuzuki sweat-dropped.

"How long have you been sitting there?" Hisoka withdrew his hand from Tsuzuki's suffocating grip.

"Oh, all night. I wanted to make sure that you didn't go out on me" Tsuzuki waved his hand as if it was nothing, hiding his concern for the boy.

"Tsuzuki, when will you learn that I can feel what you feel?" 

Tsuzuki leapt to his feet in mock rage, then turned bright red. "^^;; well Ok Soka-chan, I guess I was a little worried about you." Hisoka smiled at the admission, small though it was. He had really grown since their last encounter with Mura-san. "Soka-chan. Do you feel ready enough to go out?"

"Soon, Tsuzuki. But I think we need to talk about what happened. You first." 

Tsuzuki's crystal eyes hardened again. "I shouldn't have let you fight the Sakurazukamori! _Kusooo_ _Gomenasai_, Hisoka. I don't know why I let him beat me I was prepared for the dark onmyouji!"

"Are you really sure it was the Sakurazukamori?" Tsuzuki stopped in the middle of storming around the room. He stared at the boy as if he was an ant on a cinnamon roll

"Are you kidding? Of course it was! The _maboroshi_, the Sakura tree, the pentagram, hell, the damn hand sticking through your back Those are the trademarks of the Sakurazukamori!"

"Then why did your _ofuda_ shatter?" Tsuzuki stopped in the middle of storming around the room again. 

"What are you implying, Hisoka?"

"I don't think that that was the Sakurazukamori. When he was inside me I read his thoughts, his emotions. He wasn't with the Blossom Star until very recently, someone he loved very much came before him. And his name is Subaru. 

Subaru killed that one person, and thus became the Sakurazukamori."

"But how does that explain why the _ofuda_ shattered?" Tsuzuki's brow creased again, still not comprehending what the smaller boy was saying. It was almost as if the boy felt an attraction, connection to the person that had almost killed him. A wave of jealousy swept over him, but he quickly suppressed it. Hopefully Soka-chan didn't notice

"Well, to kill the Sakurazukamori requires a massive amount of power. What if that power wasn't dark magic? Then the new Blossom Star would have both the dark and the different magics. Your aura was only meant to protect against the dark magic; maybe that mixture was the difference." Hisoka sat up on his bed and rubbed his shoulder; the wound was almost healed. Sometimes it was good to be _Shinigami_. 

Tsuzuki mulled that over for a few seconds. "^^;; Oh man. I guess I'd better get some more information before I start attacking, neh? Ok, since we can't see the Sakurazukamori anymore, let's try the Sumeragi. Do we know where he is? I don't suppose he'd be in the phone book"

"Call Goushoushin. Have him look it up." 

Tsuzuki sweatdropped; he'd been hoping that the flitting ball of fluff wouldn't have to make an entrance He sighed. "Ok, fine. Meanwhile let's get something to eat! I'm starving."

*****

"Haiii!!!! Tsuzuki-san! How are you?" Tsuzuki looked to the sky in exasperation; he'd forgotten how annoying Goushoushin's voice was

"_Domo_, Goushoushin. What did you find for us?" The flying avian produced a package of paper bigger than himself from his pocket. He flitted over to a table. 

"This is all the contact information that you need I have the Sumeragi Estate address but I couldn't obtain the name of the head. Nobody would tell me the onmyoujistu are very secretive about their members. Oh, and Watari-san wanted me to give this to you, Hisoka-chan." Goushoushin whipped out a small book titled "How To Dodge" with a note saying "For you, Bon!" Hisoka blushed and sweat-dropped.

"Ayee thank you Goushoushin. Is that it?" Tsuzuki peered through the pile of paper looking for anything important.

"The Boss wants me to remind you that your primary goal is researching the magical grid disturbances, not the rivalries between the onmyoujitsu. And no personal vendettas, Tsuzuki-san." With that last statement hanging in the air, Goushoushin flew off. 

Hisoka stared at Tsuzuki long after the bird had departed; the other Shinigami wouldn't meet his eye. The empath tried to reach out, but such was Tsuzuki's strength that he couldn't penetrate the wall that the older Shinigami had built up well, why not ask? "What did the Sakurazukamori do to you, Tsuzuki, that makes you hate him so much?"

"What are you talking about?" The words were controlled, calculated, better fitting to Tatsumi-san than to the amethyst-eyed youth. 

Hisoka walked from Tsuzuki's side to his front. Grabbing the rumpled suit softly, he forced Tsuzuki to look at him. "Don't give me that bullshit. A personal vendetta, and when I last looked into your emotion, there was a memory of a body with a hole through it; as if somebody had punched it. I think I would know what that feels like, neh?" He let go with a little shove, then hugged Tsuzuki. "What happened?"

Tsuzuki reached up with one hand and stroked Hisoka's hair gently. "Ok fine.

"This was before you and I were partners, back, oh, maybe nine or ten years. There was a string of murders in Tokyo of innocent victims. Normally, serial killers didn't catch our attention, but the lack of bodies and excess of blood in spite of that caught our attention. These weren't political assassinations either so we were especially interested. I was sent in to investigate.

Of course I knew _of_ the existence of _a_ Sakurazukamori, but I didn't have any specifics. Not many people did. But what showed me that this was the assassin was that all of the random victims were killed in or around Ueno Park. So for several evenings I staked out the park at nighttime, looking out for the next victim. One night, I saw the _maboroshi_ go up; the same one that encased you and me. I could see it because _Shinigami_ are special like that. *sweatdrop*. I moved in fast, summoning up my powers as I went. 

When I entered the _maboroshi_, I saw a man standing over a woman, his hand pointed at her chest. Using my _ofuda_, I surprised him enough to get him away, but he was quick- quicker than I thought he would be and when I reached the girl he appeared to be so far away He looked at me, and with an unfeeling yet superior grin, dissolved into a cloud of _sakura_. Then I looked down at the girl."

Tsuzuki sighed. "She was beautiful. I hadn't seen anyone quite like that before and I haven't since." He winked. "'Cept for you, Soka-chan." 

Hisoka sweat-dropped. 

Tsuzuki sighed again. "But I took her home while she was still unconscious and never got a chance to meet her face to face. I told the Boss that the Sakurazukamori would come back for her, and that I was protecting her, but I was really falling in love from afar. Please don't make me go into the details. But one day, I drew away from her for just ten minutes. I don't know how he knew or how he did it, but when I returned, the _maboroshi_ appeared along with the same Sakura tree. The assassin, a satisfied grin on his face, looked right at me as he plunged his hand into her body. 

"He killed her. And then disappeared, leaving me there inside the illusion with the Sakura. I reached for her hand, thinking to spend at least a little more time with her, but as I grasped her fingers, they slipped from my own with a touch lighter than silk. I looked up, and somehow the Sakura tree had taken her in its roots and branches, the tendrils violating her in every way. I screamed and my powers tore at the illusion, ripping it to pieces, and at the end there was a final shriek and I was left alone, spattered in the blood of my love.

"I never knew her name, or even talked to her. I knew that I would meet the Sakurazukamori again someday, to get my revenge."

Hisoka absorbed the story in silence, recalled what he had felt inside of Subaru, and made preparations to leave for the Sumeragi estate in deep thought.

*****


	6. Encounter

*****

****

Author's Note: Sorry this chapter is so bad ___. It's going to get VERY interesting in the final two or three chapters, I promise!!!

*****

**__**

The Sumeragi Estate: 2:15that afternoon

The Shinigami approached the sprawling complex in awe. Immaculately trimmed gardens dotted the areas with tiny Edens, rivulets of the summer afternoon trickling peacefully down the path. One-story buildings with paper windows and tastefully ornate shrines graced the Shinigami with their presence. The primary building was a mix of all of these; it was both the headquarters and the home of the onmyoujistu clan Sumeragi. Tsuzuki and Hisoka shifted into the ethereal plane, and entered undetected.

"Hmmm if what Goushoushin told us was correct, then the head of the Sumeragi clan should be in the center quad. We can talk to him there." Hisoka fingered a small piece of paper with crude writing on it. "That way." He pointed through a set of doors leading to an open courtyard. The pair walked on, still having not encountered a living soul. A quartet of ponds opened into a larger moat that surrounded a small concrete island, mystic patterns carved into the walkways. A pentagram of stone connected the outer walkway to the center isle. A jade circle marked the center of the island, and Tsuzuki felt the power pulsing in the air. This building was more than just a building; it was a locus for the magical powers that the Sumeragis harnessed. Yet it was more than a fortress as well; it was also as home. Tsuzuki felt cleansed, as he hadn't in some time. In spite of the situation, he felt the stress ease out of him.

They walked to the center of the circle and paused. _Sakura_ trees lent their soft scent to the surrounding air. Hisoka took a deep breath. "Well. He's not home at the moment. At least it's much nicer here than in the city."

Tsuzuki smiled, feeling his old energy return. "Hai. Maybe we should leave, come as guests! They would feed us, maybe ^____^" 

A presence forced itself into Hisoka's mind one that was painfully familiar. _The pale skin stood against the shock of black hair like it didn't belong on the same head. The eyes were closed, but then opened. One eye, a deeper emerald than his own, stared back with a bland emotion that was only surpassed by the empty stare of the other eye; blind, gray, lifeless._

"Tsuzuki!" he hissed, and pulled the larger Shinigami off on to a diagonal post and behind a manicured shrub. To use magic here might cause the complex itself to rise up against them they didn't want to risk having to fight an entire clan. Through the soft leaves, Tsuzuki watched as a lone figure walked to the center island, his back at an angle to the hidden figures. _That coat, that frame that hair it couldn't be, but he's so much thinner than the one we met the other night, yet they look the same_ He looked over at Hisoka, who was staring intensely at the figure, the only sound the soft click of his shoes on the stones. 

Subaru walked alone to the center of his power, his one place of solace outside of the Sakura tree. Finally, he had returned home today, and would have to work feverishly to make up for his lost labors as an exorcist then he stopped. Didn't move his head, but opened his mouth slightly, as if tasting the air. He turned around slowly and stared at a meek patch of foliage off to the side. 

Time slowed. 

Tsuzuki found himself jumping into the air as soon as he saw the blind eye stare in his direction; he seemed mired in a dense fog but the air rushed past his ears so fast. He sent forth a wave of magic down at the Sakurazukamori, wanting to destroy the existence of he who had caused so much suffering in his life. A red haze slipped over his eyes, and he couldn't remember feeling such a bloodlust. The Sakurazukamori took his hand out of his right pocket and faced the wave unflinchingly.

Tsuzuki paused that hand was clean?

A ring of _ofuda_ whipped around the Sakurazukamori but they were also white. Tsuzuki swore to himself, and watched as the magics collided into a small shockwave. Tsuzuki landed on his feat beyond the reach of the moat, looked up, saw that the Sakurazukamori had taken skyward. Another wave his hand and a flock of doves streaked in towards himself. Swiftly he summoned a _Kekkai _and the doves splattered against the shield. _But that was light magic!?_ He paused for a moment and ceased his attack. The figure landed nimbly in the center of the island and faced him. He spoke, the voice barely audible above the silent sounds of the garden.

"So you must be Shinigami, to have recovered from my attack so fast." The voice was a dead monotone, but Tsuzuki sensed powerful emotions behind it. Hisoka stirred from behind the bush and responded.

"Hai. We're sorry for offending you, but we needed to talk to you." Hisoka paused, and decided to shock the young onmyouji. "Will you let us talk, Sakurazukamori Subaru?"

Subaru didn't twitch.

Tsuzuki watched carefully, then walked towards the catatonic figure. His anger had been replaced by business and curiosity the moment Hisoka had started talking "Do you know where we could find the head of the Sumeragi clan?"

Subaru didn't move, but he said very softly, "I am him."

"O.o That's impossible!"

"Considering what has happened to me in the past few months, anything is possible." Tsuzuki's head spun as he grasped what was being said. The the Sumeragi continued. "So the Shinigami have come to seek out the Sakurazukamori and the Sumeragi. Why?"

"The magical stability of Tokyo has been unstable recently. We were wondering if you knew the reason why." Hisoka spoke deadpan, eyes carefully scrutinizing the Sumeragi for any sign of knowledge. He allowed himself to step into his spirit once more

"Nothing intentional, I assure you. I assume you know about the balance of power among the onmyoujitsu. Recently that balance has been somewhat altered." The Sumeragi withdrew his hands from his pockets. The right hand carried a white _ofuda_, the left a black one. He flicked his wrists, and the _ofuda_ slipped noiselessly into Tsuzuki's hands. "Please, help yourself to anything you want in this building. I have some business to attend to." With that, he walked away without looking back. 

Tsuzuki and Hisoka stared at the empty space for awhile, unsure of what to make of the sudden change in character. The Sumeragi was polite, allowed information to be given while still revealing nothing. The waters of the pond stilled, and the _sakura_ stopped swaying to the light breeze. 

The silence deepened.

"Wow. He's cute." 

*smack* -.-;;;;;;;;;;;;;

"Sorry, Soka-chan."

*****


	7. Commission

*****

**__**

An Inn in the Countryside: 9:45 that evening

Kurosaki Hisoka lay in bed with his eyes wide open, staring blindly at the ceiling. The half-moon shone brightly in through the open window, and the fragrant scent of the verdant orchards rested on his blanket. He and Tsuzuki had found this place after Tsuzuki had smelled tempura roasting in the restaurant then Tsuzuki had gotten a little drunk on _sake_ and was now dozing fitfully on the couch. 

__

"So let me get this straight, Soka-chan. You went into the Sakurazukamori's head and figured out who he was? Why didn't you tell me?" 

"I wasn't sure. And the emotions were too powerful to be properly interpreted. But now we know what really happened. Or at least what the result of that is. The Sumeragi and the Sakurazukamori are the same person."

"So then our job is finished. I called the Boss. We're due back in two days."

"Kusooo we still need to find out more about this situation!"

"No, we don't. We found out why the balance is being upset. The Sakurazukamori and the Sumeragi became the same person. It's not going to destroy the magical grid. Only shift it to accommodate this new stress. Nothing we have any control over, or jurisdiction for that matter. Why do you want to stay longer, Soka-chan?"

"I I don't. But it's important to find out why the two of the most powerful onmyouji are the same person." 

"No, it's not. We're going home, Hisoka."

Hisoka sighed. Why was Tsuzuki being so defensive about figuring out more about Subaru? Surely Tsuzuki wasn't jealous of the Sumeragi Hisoka could never tell about the other's romantic inclinations. Those were closed books to him and apparently with Tsuzuki they were locked and burned books as well. 

"_I want to go to see the Sumeragi one more time._"

__

"What?!?! Nande?"

"To I need to find out one thing."

"And what's that? Hmmm??"

"It's personal, Tsuzuki-san."

"Personal? What could you possible not want to share with me? I'm your lov I'm your partner!"

"Tsuzuki-san. I need to do this."

"No, you can't. I won't let you. That's an order!"

"Bullshit"

And with that, Tsuzuki had hurled the final shot of _sake_ at the wall and stomped off. Hisoka had gone out for a walk, come back to find the Shini sprawled on the couch, wasted. He had put a blanket on his friend, touched his forehead fondly, and crawled into bed.

Hisoka sighed again, rolled over, and went to sleep.

*****

__

"So you are an empath. That's how you knew my name. That's how you told me you wanted to talk" Sumeragi Subaru stood before Hisoka as he sat on a gray stone bench in a completely blank universe. Sakura_ petals began to fall softly. Hisoka looked up, recognized this as a dream, and looked at Subaru. _

"How did you enter my dream? Shinigami don't dream" He looked up into the Sumeragi's eyes, was surprised to see them soften and his face look less like an onmyouji and more like the young adult he was.

"I have some old acquaintances who do me some favors every now and then. One of them is a Dreamgazer." Hisoka nodded, didn't press the issue. "Why did you want to see me?"

Hisoka paused, unsure of himself now that he was actually face to face with the Sumeragi. "Sumeragi-san I want to know a few things." 

Subaru laughed softly. "That seems to be your standard greeting for me."

Hisoka blushed. "Who was the Sakurazukamori before you?" 

Subaru looked at the white ground, and sat down on a spontaneously created bench. "He was a man named Sakurazuka Seishirou. I had known him before I was an onmyouji. I didn't know that he was the Sakurazukamori until he killed my sister."

"And yet you loved him. You love him still."

Subaru looked at him. "Is it that obvious?"

Hisoka didn't laugh at the small joke. He stared straight into the living eye. "I looked into your emotions once, when we first met. You were running to him and away from him at the same time. If you loved him, why did you kill him? Why were you forced to fight him?"

Subaru didn't look up, sat still on the bench as he had done so much in his lifetime. But now he spoke. "Seishirou-san and I never really wanted to fight each other. I was fun for him, kept him amused in a fashion, and I thought I wanted him to kill me. At least I wouldn't have to put up with it. But fate intervened. He was part of the Chi no Ryuu in the Battle of the Apocalypse, and I was a Seal."

Hisoka goggled at that admission. "The Sakurazukamori and the Sumeragi were fighting the Battle? No wonder the balance was screwed up. So you had to kill him?"

Subaru was silent for a long time.

"No. But he died. And I became the Sakurazukamori."

Hisoka waited for Subaru to elaborate on the cryptic statement, but no response came. "That must have been hard."

"You have no idea. I have nobody now. My grandmother passed away a few weeks after Seishirou did, so now I have nobody."

"Nobody? That's sad not even friends?"

"Nobody."

"That's bullshit. I can tell you're lying."

Subaru looked up, then looked down again with a sad smile on his face. "Well, there was one person who I cared for at least a little. But the part that I knew of him died on the Promised Day. I don't know who he is anymore, because I didn't know him before the Battle."

"You should go talk to him. Nobody should be without friends."

"Maybe I should. What about you? I sense loneliness about you. You carry a lot of pain inside of that heart of yours."

"Is it that obvious?"

"No. But I'm the Sakurazukamori. I have to know what my victim is feeling. Sometimes it's useful in other ways."

*sweatdrop* "Umm Sumeragi-san. I want you to do something for me."

"Possibly."

"It's not a personal favor. It's business." Hisoka unbuttoned his shirt and opened it to reveal his embossed chest and arms. Subaru started the sight of Muraki's intricate carvings and woven spells manifested on the skin of the young boy. Subaru moved, took Hisoka's arm and traced a finger down one of the markings. Hisoka shivered at the delicate touch

"This is very powerful I don't know if I'll be able to break it. You're a Shinigami too that complicates things." Subaru's face was grave. Hisoka's heart fell when he saw that expression was there no hope for him? "I'll need some time to prepare for this. Can you come back in two days?"

"I can't We need to do it tomorrow."

Subaru paused. "Fine. Leave now and come back to the estate. We'll begin at midnight." He got up to leave. Hisoka put his shirt back on. 

"Sumeragi-san?" The receding figure paused, but didn't look back. "You shouldn't hold your feelings back so much. It only hurts you." Subaru nodded, then faded out of the dream.

Hisoka stared at the empty space for awhile, thinking about how similar Tsuzuki and Subaru were at this point in time, then faded out.

*****

Hisoka stirred from sleep, looked at the clock. It was only eleven fifteen enough time to get back without too much trouble. He grabbed his shoes and jeans, and slipped noiselessly out the door to meet the Sumeragi.

Tsuzuki peeked out from underneath his blanket, knowing that Hisoka thought he were still asleep, and stalked him carefully from behind. 


	8. Link to the past

*****

**__**

The Sumeragi Estate: 11:52 P.M.

Subaru sat cross-legged in the center of the courtyard, basking in the cold moonlight, seeking to soothe his troubled mind long enough to summon enough power. He didn't know whether he could actually exorcise this curse or not; there hadn't been any recorded incidents of a _Shinigami_ being acted on. Surely if the curse was sufficiently potent to carry beyond death, then it would require Subaru's utmost skill to remove

A small breeze brushed a silent lock of his hair over his forehead; somehow, his hair never covered his eyes. Beyond the closed lids, he began to grasp the magic, feeling the pulsations of the ground, the air, the spirits around them, twisting and weaving intricate webs, coming together to form a potent weapon and shield. In his mind, he saw himself drowning in the magic and not caring, being devoured by it but also being reborn, for its every use by the two-faced onmyouji altered its form beyond its original purpose, and then he was still. Another wisp of wind wafted against his face, and Kurosaki Hisoka stepped in front of him.

"Good. You're on time we'll be able to take full advantage of the dormant spirits in the area. Sometimes, during the day, they can interfere with the process." Subaru rose smoothly to his feet, and his white overcoat shimmered in the black light of the night. Hisoka just stood there, nervous, unsure of what to make of all of this. "Take off your shirt."

Hisoka blushed something he normally didn't do. "What?"

"Take off your shirt. It'll allow me to get more contact with you, and interpret the curse's energies more clearly."

Subaru watched as Hisoka stripped off the denim jacket and button-up shirt. With a whispered word, the discarded clothes disappeared from the circle. Reaching out with his arms, he gently pushed down on the younger Shinigami's shoulders until Hisoka was kneeling down. His skin was warm was everybody warmer than Subaru was? Every time he went near somebody, it seemed like he was colder, harsher, somehow withdrawn from the rest of the world. In any case here goes nothing.

"Are you ready?"

"Yes. Is there anything you want me to do?"

"Just hold still until it's finished. You'll go into a sort of trance as I begin the spell it's nothing to be afraid of. Just your internal emotions."

"Hai."

"Ok I'll try to make this as fast as possible." Subaru leaned down and cupped the boy's face in his hands, like he would a small bird, and then touched his forehead to the boy's own. The clock struck midnight, a single tone ringing through the courtyard. At each corner of the pentagram, an unlit candle burst into flame, focusing the magic of the Sumeragi. The jade engravings began to glow a deep emerald. Subaru began chanting softly, began to enter the consciousness of the Shinigami, testing the strength of the bonds that had kept the boy enslaved beyond death. 

*****

Tsuzuki watched from beyond the corporeal plane, feeling the energy pulse in and out of the Sumeragi estate. Hisoka was kneeling down, his silken skin pale in contrast to the blood-red lines of Muraki's curse. The purple eyes creased in jealousy as the Sumeragi placed his hands around Soka-chan's head, and then opened wide as the two of them came together. The flow of magic increased, a whirlwind to those who could see it, and then it all became silent. 

Tsuzuki began to move toward the compound, seeking to free his friend.

*****

__

Subaru walked forward, the white coat dripping onto the liquid surface. He could hear Hisoka's anguished sobs coming from somewhere somewhere but he couldn't quite place it. Somehow, the boy symbolized something that Subaru had lost thrice before, and he wouldn't fail again. He approached a door, alone in the oily black of the dreamscape, and tried to open it. A searing pain took his hand, and he released it, watched as the handle glowed a crimson red, guarded by magic.

Subaru furrowed his brow and flung a white ofuda_ at the door, then five more in an equidistant circle around him. He chanted softly, summoning his exorcist powers, and the pentagram on the door began to glow crimson as well. With a shout, he began to blast the door with a purging force, seeking to implode the bonds that held the boy tied down, tied to something evil and at the same time dreadfully hurt_

A harsh laugh boomed in his ears, a deep, melodious voice tuned like the finest instrument. The ofuda_ on the door shattered, and Subaru was left with one hand facing forward, one finger pointed at the sky. A giant illusion appeared in front of him, a colorless face with platinum hair draped over startlingly piercing eyes. It grew larger and seemed to swallow the small Sumeragi_

Subaru shifted his spell's focus, and a series of ripples tore across the dreamscape towards the approaching head, the white magic warping the dream itself

*****

Hisoka buckled from within, screamed loudly, and was dimly aware of the night sky being streaked with violent auroras from the violence inside, of the water of the courtyard beginning to boil as the Sumeragi drew in energy from all his home. _Don't give up, Sumeragi-san!_ The sanguine engravings began to glow a deeper red, and Hisoka screamed.

*****

__

Subaru withdrew the onslaught, breathing deeply. Casting a lesser spell, he removed most of his fatigue. The door stood before him, impervious to his most powerful exorcisms. The figure would appear often, torturing him, leering at him, taunting him, the flaps of his overcoat dancing to its owner's every word. Time to give it another go

Subaru stopped, sat down on the liquid floor, watched the ripples flow outward from his body Focus. Focus. The power is apart of me, it is one with me. I am the center, yet I can reach anywhere I wish. The words became a mantra, he wrapped it around him like armor Subaru closed his eyes and brought his fingers to his temples. Without uttering a word, the darkened dream was bathed in white light, Subaru's shadow black against the door. 

He opened his eyes and focused his spell. 

The wind tore at him, ripping the trench coat from his body, then his shirt, leaving him naked above the waist against he onslaught. Blood streaked from a dozen cuts along his body, sheathing the lean youth in fluid. He shouted in challenge and directed the spell against the door, pouring all of his energy into one final shout.

*****

Tsuzuki watched the operation in fascination he never imagined a mortal with such power. In the gale that shook the complex, he watched the two figures huddled in the center, untouched by the wind. Suddenly, the Sumeragi stood bared in the middle, and Hisoka screamed in pain, the emerald eyes glistening with unshed tears, then the boy clutched at the exposed onmyouji. 

"Soka-chan!" Tsuzuki's feelings overrode his caution, and he leapt forward to save his friend. Reaching out with his own formidable powers as an onmyouji, he sought to penetrate the barrier that shielded the pair from the _kamis_ of the area

Vines and branches twisted out of nowhere, tearing into the suit and drawing blood from the Shinigami, and as Tsuzuki saw the real world fade into a white background, he saw with despair the five candles at the tips of the pentagram flare once and then go out.

*****

_Subaru's voice almost cracked, but somehow, he still sucked in more air, still beat against the door with all of his strength but it was almost gone. He had failed _

A shower of sakura_ petals skittered across his view, distracting him for an instant, and he felt a familiar presence, a lethal presence, a powerful one, offering him visions of power and of blood beyond his dreams, just a small sacrifice, just one more_

*****

Hisoka dimly heard Subaru whisper once, "I'm sorry, Hisoka."

Then felt his chest pierced by Subaru's hand, felt it snap his rib cage, felt it steal the life from his body and soul, and Hisoka passed out. 

*****

"Well, well, well. What have we here?"

Tsuzuki looked desperately around, trying to find the speaker. The vines held him solid and a scent of _sakura_ drifted slowly around. He heard footsteps behind him, but suddenly the harsh branches cut into his skin, dripping blood, and he couldn't crane his neck around. _Kuso! He walks so slowly!_ No matter how hard Tsuzuki tugged at the branches, he couldn't free himself. He looked down with his eyes and saw a shock of black hair, covering a pair of eyes which in turn were covered by a dark pair of sunglasses. The man was wearing a very fine black suit and overcoat, but he wore the smile much more comfortably than he wore the clothes

__

That smile

Rage took Tsuzuki again and he flailed impotently at his prison once more, but each successive pull only drove the branches deeper and he felt faint with the small blood loss. 

"I wouldn't recommend struggling. The Sakura enjoys blood and struggle. You're only feeding it." The man took out a cigarette and lit it, the pungent odor seeping into Tsuzuki's pores.

"You!!! You're dead. You're the Sakurazukamori, before Subaru was. You can't be here!" Tsuzuki spat out, flecks of red dripping out of his mouth. He was gradually lowered to the ground. The Sakurazukamori walked up to him, slowly _Dammit! Hisoka I need to save him!_ and then took off his sunglasses. 

"Ahhh, so much rage for such a beautiful face. It's a pity I didn't meet you earlier" The Sakurazukamori reached up and stroked Tsuzuki's face tenderly, as if he cared, but the leering smile remained. Tsuzuki shuddered involuntarily the touch was warm and loving and lethal all at the same time. Why did he remind Tsuzuki of Muraki so much? "You really shouldn't have tried to interfere with Subaru-kun. The Sakura protects its keeper very well."

"_Stop telling me what to do!_" seethed Tsuzuki, flinching away from the touch. Seishirou took another step forward, until he was only inches away. 

"I could kill you right now if I wanted to," said the assassin simply. "But I won't. It's not my job to kill anymore the only reason I'm here is because Subaru-kun wishes the Sakura to keep me around awhile longer. But you you're here for a different reason. Are you jealous of Subaru-kun? Do you think he loves that young boy?"

Tsuzuki glared, said nothing.

"Ah. So I'm right. Nice to know I can still read my victims as well as I used to." Seishirou winked at Tsuzuki with his blind eye and walked away. "Well, you could summon your _shikigami_, and I doubt I could stop you. Your powers in that regard far exceed my own." Tsuzuki considered that, then prepared for the firebird. "But if you do, remember that when the _maboroshi_ fails, so will Subaru's hold on the boy. He'll die if the link isn't severed properly. Do you wish that?"

Tsuzuki glared, said nothing. The assassin's light laughter burned at him.

"Didn't think so." Seishirou turned to face the assassin again. "Do try to get along with Subaru-kun. I wouldn't like to have to pay you another visit." With that, the assassin walked away, slowly, taking his damn time, until he was just a small speck in the distance, then the _maboroshi_ disappeared, and Tsuzuki fell to the ground, gasping.

He only saw Hisoka lying on top of Subaru in a pool of slowly drying blood, eerily beautiful in the coming dawn.

*****

__

Subaru felt his power fade into the dream, the door still impervious to anything he could summon. A shower of sakura_ petals skittered across his view, distracting him for an instant, and he felt a familiar presence, a lethal presence, a powerful one, offering him dreams of power and of blood beyond his dreams, just a small sacrifice, just one more with that, he charged the door. _

His blind eye flashed into a silvery glow, and his hand bled a crimson guard as he plunged it into the door. The power of the Sakura_ filled him, and the door began to bleed, a trickle at first, then gushing. His hand flared, and fire poured out from around his body, bathing the dream in the orange light. A brilliant explosion tore the door asunder, and suddenly it wasn't a door but the boy Hisoka, and the flames receded to reveal the courtyard. But the light was still shining from his hand, and Hisoka was still screaming, screaming in pain and finally Subaru pulled his hand out with a gush of blood, and fell unconscious to his knees. _

The last thing he saw was Seishirou leaning against the Sakura, nodding his approval at the young onmyouji's action, and Subaru smiled.

*****

Tsuzuki forgot his anger and sprinted for the fallen pair. _Soka-chan_ He picked up the boy, the curse marks clearly written in red along the skin, a gaping hole in his chest that fought to close against the air. Tsuzuki cradled his friend against his chest, a tear dropping onto his forehead, and set him down on the grass next to the pond. He turned around and walked purposefully back to where the Sumeragi had collapsed onto the jade pentagram. Hauling the onmyouji to an upright position, Tsuzuki savagely kicked him in the stomach. Subaru doubled over, wrenched back to consciousness, and coughed up blood. 

"_Nande?"_ he managed to whisper. Tsuzuki prepared to do it again when Hisoka cried out for him to stop. Whirling on his partner, he spitted Hisoka with a harsh stare.

"You disobeyed a direct order, and he almost killed you! Hisoka, what the hell were you thinking?!" Tsuzuki stormed in a loud voice, his anger overriding his concern.

Hisoka nodded, then dipped his hand into the water next to him. Cupping a small amount of water, Hisoka gently bathed his shoulder and what Tsuzuki had thought was the curse washed away in a bloody solution but the shoulder was clean. 

Subaru watched the older Shinigami's reaction with painful satisfaction. The frown disappeared into a neutral face, then the purple eyes turned to stare at him in disbelief. Subaru smiled wanly, said nothing. Hisoka continued to wash away the blood, clearly overexhausted but driven by his hatred for his bondage he found the energy to do so. Subaru looked up at the Shinigami, felt the kindness override the hatred and the jealousy, perceived that his danger was over, then went to sleep.

*****

__

Subaru stood, fully healed, facing the Shinigami in his standard garb. "Thank you, Sumeragi-san. For everything." Bright emerald eyes shone up at him, but he couldn't bring himself to embrace the smaller one.

"It was nothing. I did it for me. So I should probably apologize."

"There is no need to. I'm free now, but Tsuzuki-kun and I are going to back now. You're in bed, so we couldn't say goodbye, but we won't forget you.

Remember, Sumeragi-san. Nobody should be without friends." With that, Subaru watched the Shinigami fade from his dream, and then he woke up.

*****

The dim lights of the open bedroom didn't hurt his eyes as he opened them. His body was bandaged expertly and the wounds were closing faster than they normally did. He looked at the clock only eleven in the morning. _Oh it's tomorrow. Heh_. Subaru thought of something, recalled what the Shinigami had told him, then got dressed. The train back to Tokyo left in less than an hour he would have to catch it.

*****

The shrine was overgrown and ill-kept, but the house was clean and the plants well watered. So much stemmed from this house and from these memories that it felt like home though Subaru had never been here before. Subaru walked up to the door, nervous for the first time in a long time. He didn't know what to expect from this meeting, after all, he only barely knew the owner. 

****

But it was the one link to the past that Subaru was willing to accept, because Kamui had been willing to accept him and love him as well. 

He knocked on the door, and stood there stoically 

"_Konnichiwa _Eh? Subaru? Is it really you?" A tall figure stood in the doorway, handsome, grown beyond his years, and maybe a friend.

"Hi, Fuuma. I just wanted to talk to you. I'm sorry if I'm interrupting." Subaru felt his cheeks flush at past memories but the teenager didn't seem to notice. Amber eyes pierced at him, no longer full of lust, no longer mocking. 

"No, no, not at all. Please, come in." A long arm reached out and embraced him, warm, comforting, authentically friendly, and Subaru finally returned the gesture and allowed himself to be escorted inside.

**

__

Snick-fwoosh. A thin trail of smoke escaped from his lips as he stood outside, leaning on a tree. 

"Good-bye, Subaru-kun." Seishirou smiled, and walked away into the Tokyo night. 

*****

*****

*****

****

Author's Conclusion:Wow, this is possible the most fun I've ever had writing a fanfiction. I have to give a small apology for making it slightly Subaru/Hisoka I was planning to make it Tsuzuki/Subaru but the plot just didn't unfold that way. I'm sorry that it also wasn't a little more shounen-ai; again, the development of Subaru's character didn't really allow for more than just coincidental contact. I'm planning on writing a Seishirou/Dark Fuuma fanfic next that should me more fanservice while still retaining a serious plot. 

I hope you enjoi-ed reading this. It's finished. ^_^

-Tsuriai Yuuto


	9. Epilogue

*****

**__**

Chyogucho: The Next Day

Tsuzuki walked silently, slowly across the cherry orchard outside of the complex. _Why didn't you obey my orders?_ The smell of Subaru's blood and sweat forced its way into his mind again, once again his boot was tainted with that blood, the ill-deserved blow haunting Tsuzuki. _I'm not like that_. Tsuzuki sat down next to a tree, feeling the ridges of the bark dig lightly into his back. _This is real. This air, this sky, these trees. It's all real. Something I can hold on to, something that will always be here. It's a constant_. He closed his eyes and tried to doze off. Soon enough, though, a shadow fell over his covered gaze and brought his head out of the reverie.

"Domo, Tsuzuki," said a mellifluous, deep voice.

Tsuzuki stood up quickly and straightened his rumpled suit, which curled up again as soon as he stopped touching it. "_Hai_. _Konnichiwa_, Tatsumi-san." He winked at the cerulean eyes hidden behind the thin-wire glasses, a bit of his humor returning. Something about Tatsumi always made him want to play "Did you get my report?"

"Aa. We won't be punishing Bon for disobeying your orders. There is no reason to, especially with the curse now lifted." Tatsumi stood erect, ever the epitome of elegance.

Tsuzuki smiled. "That's good I didn't want him to be punished anyway. He hates me enough as it is ^^;;"

Tatsumi didn't return the warmth. "Tsuzuki, he doesn't hate you. You know that. It's actually the reason I came out here to see you normally I don't intrude into your private space among the _sakura_."

"Eh? How did you know I come out here a lot?" Tsuzuki stared at his superior.

Now Tatsumi smiled, and pushed his glasses up onto his nose. "I watch you every now and then, Tsuzuki-kun." He placed his hand on the tree next to Tsuzuki's neck, brushing the light brown hair ever so slightly. Tsuzuki flinched a little bit, remembering how sensitive that touch could be, and then gently pushed Tatsumi away.

"_Gomenasai_, Tatsumi-san, but we our time passed a long time ago." The purple eyes shimmered. 

The smile broadened, confusing the younger Shinigami. "That's good. Bon told me to do this to see how you really felt."

O.o

"You're so cute when you're upset, Tsuzuki-kun. Really, you should apologize to him for being so jealous. Don't deny it, I can see it in your eyes. ^_^. Ja." Tatsumi walked away, and leaning against a tree behind him stood Hisoka. The green eyes burned into Tsuzuki, and he found himself blushing furiously.

"You turned down Tatsumi-san for me. You really do Tsuzuki?" Tsuzuki sighed inwardly Soka-chan still couldn't show much emotion. The youth detached himself from the tree and walked over, the cuffed overcoat flapping quietly. He stopped inches from Tsuzuki and looked up at Tsuzuki.

"Ah hey Soka-chan. ^^;; *sweatdrop* erm *sigh* I'm sorry about intruding on you and the Sumeragi. I should have asked instead of being jealous." He put his arms around Hisoka's shoulders and stared into the eyes as he finished. 

"I didn't want to tell you. I needed to see how you really felt about me. Though I didn't expect you to try to stop me. It's ok though." Hisoka slipped his shirt off of one shoulder to reveal the pale, but unmarked skin.

"Well, when a proclaimed assassin sticks his hand through my partner for the second time, I get kind of upset ^^;;"

"Tsuzuki, please be serious. The Sumeragi and I we've had rough pasts, similar in some ways. But nothing could ever happen."

O.o "How do you know?"

"Because I know he still loves at least one other person. And because I love one other person." Hisoka leaned in and hugged the stunned Tsuzuki and they stood there for awhile in silence. Time stretched into the late morning and they still didn't move.

"Soka-chan?"

"Eh?"

"What was it like to be on top of Subaru? Without a shirt on?"

*smack* -.-;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; "Shut up, Tsuzuki."

*****


End file.
